Are You Addicted to Love? Here’s How EMDR Therapy Can Help You Break the Cycle
If you've ever felt like you're addicted to love—to the butterflies, the fantasy, the drama, or the deep craving to be wanted—you're not alone. Love addiction is real, and it can feel like you're stuck in an emotional rollercoaster that never quite lets you off.
You might find yourself falling hard and fast, getting lost in a relationship, or staying with people who aren’t good for you—just to avoid feeling alone. Then, when things fall apart, it’s devastating. The emptiness can feel unbearable. So you chase the next hit of connection, even if it hurts you in the long run.
But what if the answer isn’t just “try harder” or “choose better people”?
What if the root of love addiction lives in old emotional wounds—and healing those could change everything?
That’s where EMDR therapy comes in.
What Is EMDR?
EMDR stands for Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing. It’s a form of therapy that helps people heal from painful or confusing past experiences that continue to affect their thoughts, emotions, and relationships.
In love addiction, it’s common for someone to carry unresolved pain from childhood—like emotional neglect, inconsistent caregivers, or abandonment—that taught the nervous system that love equals anxiety, unpredictability, or even chaos.
EMDR helps you go back to where it all began—not to dwell there, but to finally resolve what’s unfinished.
Love Addiction Isn’t About Weakness—It’s About Survival
If you feel like you lose yourself in love or can’t stop obsessing over someone, it doesn’t mean you’re weak or broken. Often, love addiction is your brain’s attempt to soothe old pain with new people. You may be looking for someone else to give you the sense of safety, wholeness, or worth that you didn’t get early on.
But chasing love to fix what's broken inside rarely works. And it can leave you feeling more alone, more confused, and more hurt.
How EMDR Can Help You Heal
EMDR works by helping your brain reprocess past experiences that are “stuck” in your nervous system. These aren’t just memories—they’re emotional imprints that shaped how you relate to love, closeness, and your own sense of self-worth.
Here’s what EMDR can do for someone healing from love addiction:
Heal the original heartbreaks: EMDR helps you process early relational wounds—like feeling unseen, unloved, or abandoned—so they stop echoing in your adult relationships.
Calm the emotional chaos: EMDR can reduce the intensity of your emotional reactions when you feel triggered or rejected, helping you stay grounded and present.
Untangle fantasy from reality: You may begin to see past idealization and recognize red flags more clearly, without the emotional pull clouding your judgment.
Build a stronger sense of self: As you heal, you begin to feel more whole without needing someone else to complete you.
EMDR in Practice
In EMDR sessions, your therapist will help you identify the root experiences that may be fueling your patterns—like that moment you felt unwanted, the betrayal that shattered your trust, or the parent who wasn’t emotionally there for you.
Then, using gentle techniques like guided eye movements or bilateral tapping, EMDR helps your brain reprocess those experiences. Many clients describe it as their body finally letting go of a weight they didn’t even realize they were carrying.
You don’t need to relive the trauma in detail. You just need to be open to the process—and supported by someone who knows how to walk with you through it.
Rewriting Your Love Story
You don’t have to keep chasing people who can’t love you the way you deserve. You don’t have to lose yourself in relationships just to feel okay.
Healing love addiction isn’t about giving up on love—it’s about learning to love yourself first. EMDR can help you create the inner safety that makes healthy, reciprocal love possible.
When the past stops running the show, your future opens up.
If you’re ready to heal the roots of love addiction and reclaim your sense of self, EMDR might be the path you’ve been looking for. Let’s talk. Cronemiller Counseling is proud to offer EMDR therapy over telehealth to Minnesotan residents, including Minneapolis, Eagan, Rochester, Bemidji, Wayzata, Forest Lake, and Duluth, MN.
